Hiraeth #1

image

Your stones
Filled my voids
The air aided them
Cleansing the pain away from my heart
I carry the cold in my memory
Because it is the warmest embrace I have ever felt

I live and die for the day I walk among your paths again.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Hiraeth #1”

  1. I like it. But, in my opinion, the word “too” in the third line weakens the poem because it sounds like an add-on and the image of the air is never revisited. I think if you focus on the image of the stones, the coldness of them, and how their roughness cleans your pain, then you’ve got something with resonance. Also, be careful of cliches like “live and die”. You’re a gifted writer. Keep up the good work.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s