Iron and blood

image

I am the iron in your earth
That you have not learned how to cool.
Running through your bloodstream
I patiently brew
The fragile substance of my soul
Carries the weight of you like steel
Teach me how to bring you down
And show you how to feel
There’s a way that I can make a mold
Before ashes become real
Yet your kisses turn to gold
With every inch of gravel sold
Among the words and shattered lies
I see the iron in your eyes
You’re a treasure to this earth.

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4 thoughts on “Iron and blood”

  1. Interesting love poem, but you begin with what sounds like free verse and move into rhyming. Is this transition intentional as you move from talking about “I” to “you”?

  2. Sort of. It took me a while though, to be honest, because I expected it to stay with one type of verse and one subject, but changing both initially stumped me. I even went back and looked at the first and last lines, then the second and next to last line, and so on until I got to the middle, to see if you were creating some type of connection. I like poems that make me think, like e.e. cummings’ poem “l (a”, but I find it has to be clever enough to be challenging but straightforward enough to be comprehensible for me to get it. Sometimes subtlety can be a writer’s best friend.

  3. That’s powerful. I like mhowellw ‘s point about the transition- with the picture you included it has the imagery of sort of a crescendo as if one is pulling a sword out of its scabbard – free verse to a more metrical (sharp, dangerous) ending.

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